RIP

Good-bye blog. I really don't want to use you anymore. I feel like using this to put my thought into perspective isn't working with me anymore. But don't worry, I shall return. I have a baseball season starting soon, so I will start up a new, better blog to document how that is going.

Finally, I can relax. Everything is good again. I don't have to sit up at night, wondering if shes getting any sleep up there. I don't have to wonder if everythings okay when I'm not on the phone with her. Thank god this is over.

D:

I'm still kind of in shock. This is just so hard to accept. I couldn't even focus at all today. That image of seeing what happened is just on replay in my mind. Part me is still so scared to even see her. I don't know if I can compose myself around her while shes like that. Its just an image that feels really brutal to try and stand. I really feel like we're one, cause part of me feels like its in pain, like its taken a hit....by a car.

I kiss my bracelet you made me and look up everytime I do hoping that those kisses make their way to your soul.

I woke up, and it wasn't all a dream...

Like you've got to be fucking kidding me? How does this shit always end up happening to her? I'm still like, in shock that it happened. Sleeping felt like a war last night. Hopefully I do get up and see her later. She needs me, and I need her.

:)

It felt soo good to see her yesterday. I had missed physical contact with her so much, that if felt good to finally hug, and kiss, and hold her again. I really love sitting there with her, laying down and listening to music. Its rather soothing and creates a great mood. Can't wait for next Sunday. Its a great feeling when you look into her eyes and she has that cute smile. Makes you melt inside and make you unable to feel anything but in love.

So today is Superbowl Sunday, supposedly. The only thing super about it to me is that it starts my countdown to Spring Training. The only thing I even care about is that I want the Colts to win, thats really it. I don't care about the hype or the commercials, or anything else. The only thing I care about is sitting there, enjoying the company of my loved one, that girl who can make me melt with just a cute smile.

^ Sorry, that was my venting of frustration and snapping as well. I hope this "talk" does something later...:////

Ugh

I REALLY CAN'T STAND THIS SHIT ANYMORE...I REALLY CAN'T. I'M NOT THE PARENTS. IT SHOULDN'T BE UP TO ME OR HER TO FIND OUT HOW SHE CAN GET HOME. IT ISN'T OUR FAULT THAT THEY HAVE NO MONEY TO SPEND FOR A CAB. I really wish I had my own car...or just lived right next to her. I'm really starting to get upset to the point where eventually you're gonna tell me she cannot come over here unless she has a definite way home beforehand...its just not fair...it really isn't....why me?

I fucking hate life.