Here We Are

In about 9 hours, this year, and more importantly this decade, will come to a conclusion. And because I'm not really capable of explaining this past decade, I'd rather reflect back on the year that was. Overall, 2009 was a great year all around. I did so many things and had so many things happen that I never would have dreamed of. First off, on just the second day of 2009, I fell in love with Lexa. Almost a whole year has passed since that point, and the current love I have for her isn't even close to that puppy love that it was back then. I won a championship, and so did the Yankees! I put up four consistent quarters in school, and am currently going further and further up the rankings in terms of myself. I finally clensed myself of who I used to be and am now all in all, a much better and more rounded individual than I was when this year started. Its really odd that two people undergo such change in their mental make-up, and still feel so strongly about one another. If it wasn't for the love and support of each other, we probably couldn't of done it. So I take this space here to thank you Lexa, for everything that you helped me along with this year. And I turn am glad for the love and support that gave to you as well this year. We bettered ourselves and developed as human beings to levels that twelve months ago probably would have been jokes.

So good-bye 2009. You'll always have a place in my heart for the sentimental value that you contain within. But at the same time, I welcome 2010 with open arms, anxious to see what this year can hold, and if it can somehow, top the year that currently passed.

Currently Listening to: Metallica - Ride the Lightening

Resolutions

Here are things that I wish to accomplish/goals for the year 2010:

-Have a 100+ average for the remaining 3 quarters(I'll live with 2 out of 3)
-Learn at least 3 of these songs: The Unforgiven, Nothing Else Matters, Wonderwall, All of This, Welcome Home(Sanitarium), ...And Justice for All, Sweet Home Alabama. If I happen to actually get the electric guitar, add Seek and Destroy, One, Fade to Black, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and The Thing That Should Not Be.
-Get my weight down to between 185-205. With that, I mean go down to at least having potentially forming abs. Same goes for the rest of the body. Basically, a full body tone.
-Get a job.
-Regardless if I make it or not, put enough effort into Baseball tryouts that people know you mean business.
-Learn how to properly pitch. Everyone says I have the body for it, well, now lets put this body to work. The slimming down will also help the velocity.
-Get a 5 on at least 1 of those 3 AP exams. I'm not gonna set unrealistic goals for myself and say all 3. I do however, feel that if I have a good chance at any of them, its Chem. But overall goals, get at least a 3 on all of them.
-Continue to eat healthier.
-Read 10 books. Starting off the New Year reading Joe Torre's helps too.

That's really it. Everything else is really a wish. You know, the usual: Get out of here, things get even better, etc. Can't wait for 2010!

And I Will Kick This Cold

Well, what is there really to say lately. Its true that there isn't much to write about when you're just up up and away. Although I have been a little under the weather lately, I still am happier than ever. I am no longer cut off from the world, mom is working, things are just finally going well. I know times such as this has happened before, but this is entirely different. There is finally...finally some faith in me that this is actually numbering these days of being here.

Anywayyyyy, things to do today since if I were to go outside I'd probably become frozen on impact:
-Finish AP US outlines. Both Cleveland terms shouldn't be that hard. I'll be really pissed if this doesn't recieve a +. I've been working my ass off and people had in shit and get +'s. I know hardwork pays off in the end, and it better apply to this situation.
-Play with my guitar. Learn the whole acoustic part to The Unforgiven, since I now know that its picked regularly.
-*fingers crossed on this one* Spend the day talking to my extremely lovely girlfriend. Nothing bad will happen to you on my watch, at least I hope not.
-Start Chem? Nahhhhhh....maybe :p.

Currently Listening to: Three Days Grace - Take Me Under

Finally...

The ebb and flow that is my life is finally at a balance. For the current moment, I cannot see the peak in which the rollercoaster rides up towards. I actually enjoy this feeling. The feeling of being at ease with everything. Maybe its just the linger of holiday feelings, who knows. All I know, is that I'm digging it and gonna keep digging it until its gone.

Most importantly, I'm finally doing things right again. I don't know what went wrong. But sometimes, its good to forgive and forget when the dice are rolling and everythings moving along.

Currently Listening to: Black Sabbath - War Pigs

Merry Christmas

I'm finally beginning to embrace the holidays. I got a phone finally! Everyone loved my gifts that for the first year, were actually of good quality. Most importantly, Lexa enjoyed her gifts and liked being with me and my family. I hope my mom takes up Aunt Lisa's offer and we all go out there for New Years. It would end my year on a perfect note if I could end the best year of my life happy with my family, and most importantly, my beautiful girlfriend.

Countdown to Opening Presents: 1 hour, 48 minutes

They Put A Bullet In Your Fucking Head

Well, since today I am free of assignments since I took the initiative yesterday, I don't know what to do with myself! I'm so used to coming home and doing AP US for hours, that I forget what I can do when I actually have free time. Well, hopefully we go running today. If not, I'll spend the day talking to that really beautiful girl I love. She is really great to me :).

Currently Listening to: Rage Against the Machine - Bullet In Your Head

Funnn

Yesterday was a great success. For once, I'm happy with what I'm giving people for Christmas this year. I actually feel like I accomplished something for once around the holidays.

As Metallica says good-bye on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert, some things:
-I started my AP essay. Arguementative writing doesn't seem that challenging.
-I'm going to laugh tomorrow when Jimmy finds out his Christmas Present is a can of Monster.
-That story is going to be even funnier :D!
-Gonna go pick up one more gift for Beautiful tomorrow I think.
-Excited for those guitars. That's when I'll really kick it up and go all out on trying to play it.
-I need to do more baseball things. Unfortuntately, this year, winter really is winter.

Currently Listening to: U2 - Vertigo(cause its on TV lol)

Hi

I never ask you for anything, but please God, help her. All I ask, is that fix all of that for her. She doesn't deserve these things. She especially doesn't deserve this during her favorite time of the year. If you have any ounce of decency in you, you'll help her out, so this way both me and you can see her make one of her beautiful smiles.

(Let it go.)

Sigh

I have to find a way to get over this. Obviously if I don't, I'll ruin our relationship again. I guess rather than compromise, she can have her whole way.

To remind myself, I'm going to put this in each blog post: Let it go.

I'm Tired

Of fighting about your social life, but honestly, what the hell? Why is being asked to come home at 9 a big deal? Excuse me if I would like to talk to you at 9 like we do every weekend/break. Why is it if you leave at 3, 4 PM, that staying out until 8, 9 PM isn't enough. That's 4-5 hours, are you for real? Get the fuck out of here with complaining about that. Again, pardon me for feeling that I'd have my normal talking time with you over the break and that we can maintain something we always do. No, go on with your social life. After all, its really important, obviously. Honestly, if theres an issue about it, instead of being a pissy bitch, how about you try expressing yourself, you know, do that communcation thing that hasn't been there for a while now. It couldn't hurt to actually talk about your feelings.

Other then that bs, weather pending, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I can finally do some decent Christmas shopping. And if I don't, well, then I can watch snow fall and wait until tomorrow or the next day. We better go running today Vin. I don't care if a fridge falls on you. I want to run.

Currently Listening To: Metallica - Struggle Within(almost too literal)

No the Sunshine Never Comes

Just bullshitted a critical lens for English. I don't know why I had trouble writing it. I felt beforehand like I was going to breeze through it. Oh well.

Things to do tonight:
-Write my second sports article of my new blog. Tonight's topic, the New York Yankees Offseason Plans.
-Figure out a schedule to manage the massive AP US we have. 5 chapters of vocab, 5 Presidents, an essay, and a presentation due in January. And I'd rather try and start ASAP rather then waiting until the last minute.
-Look over labsheet for Chem Lab tomorrow. It sounds like its going to be fun. Nothing like toxic chemicals and noxious fumes that requires the fume hood.

I'm kinda mad at the fact I can't go running again. Luckily, everything else offsets the madness. She's finally gotten that break and has a job again. Hopefully the days at this shithole have now become numbered.

Currently Listening To: Metallica - The Day That Never Comes(Oh but it has :) )

Well..

Today was a tad bit stressful. Started off the day needing a ride to school because of problems with the bus. I had four tests: Chem, English, AP US, and Sports Marketing, I'm tired, and just want to cuddle up with Lexa and have nice conversations. Oh, wait, I can't...because not only is she out, shes not answering her phone, which she said I could talk to her on. Ugh, why does everything always go wrong for me?

Edit: 3:26. I just don't know anymore. I really don't. I'm just upset with everything. I'm tired of fighting. I love her to the point where I physically cannot live without her. I just wished either I didn't get so worked up over everything or she just wouldn't do all these things when I need her. AND, I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE NO ONE TO GO RUNNING WITH CAUSE OF BACK PROBLEMS. I really give up.

P.S: Orginially, I was going to come home and write about how upset I am that I can't ever get a good nights sleep. I just want to know what I do wrong that I suffer more than any other person.

Sorry Blog

Sorry if this new sports blog will at anypoint take up your time, current blog. I just need to get a jumpstart on my sports writing, I need to start refurbishing and perfecting it so I can have something to use in the future.

Well, I enjoy coming home and for once, NOT having to do AP US. I'm going to enjoy writing these articles, simply because writing is fun and writing about Baseball is even funner.

Well, off I go, to write about the sport with the red stitched white sphere.

Edit: 3:15 PM, Well, that was a downer to find out. And of course, like everything, I can't even get mad at her, cause its for a good cause. Why? Why does life screw with me to where I can't ever, just once, have my cake and eat it too? Couldn't once, I just get an off day and not have her needing to go somewhere so I can just talk to her, and have conversations with the person I enjoy talking to the most in this world. Gay.

And Sometimes I Wonder...

whither or not you'd really be better off without me to screw up your life and bring you sadness.

The Four Horsemen

So while I listen to a fabulous guitar solo courtesy of Kirk "The Ripper" Hammett, time to unleash a little thoughts. I just got suggested a completely retarded thing for our car situation. There we go, instead of potentially getting jailed for possession of an illegal vehicle, lets get jailed for breaking and entering and larceny, cause you know, that's smart. Anyway, I feel kind of eh on this Sunday morning. As much as I enjoy waking up early and getting a fresh start to my day early, I just need that one day a week to sleep in, and I physically can never get it.

My hair doesn't feel that bad at the length it currently is, which is considerably longer than I usually allow it to grow. I don't know, I'm beginning to not care what everyone else thinks of it and grow it. To take a quote from someone I know, "I'm the one that has to deal with it everyday." I probably won't, not yet anyway, but its an attractive thought.

I have to try and get at least two, maybe one and a half chapters of AP US done today. God this past week sucked with assignments. I'm going to hate Christmas break workwise. We've already been put down for assignments in US, English, and Chem, so it looks like I'll be spending my entire break working, just like summer :/.

I feel myself slipping in my guitar practices. I'm losing patience with this acoustic, and it is making me not want to play it anymore. I so badly want a new guitar, or at least a functioning one. I can care less if its an electric or acoustic. I just want something that I can actually produce music with. I don't want to quit this, but this guitar is putting me on the edge of, and that's the last thing I want to do, quit.

Things to Accomplish Today:
-30+ vocab words.
-Catch up on The Things They Carried.
-If there is any break in the rain, go running, regardless if its with or without Vin.
-Clean up my "area."

I'm excited to go Christmas shopping next weekend. For the first Christmas in, god, probably THE FIRST Christmas, I can actually not shop cheap and get people decent gifts. Jimmy is going to laugh when he sees his Christmas present is Monster. Then again, its the thought that counts right?

Currently Listening To: Metallica - The Unforgiven III

I don't want, to, dieeeeeeeeee...

I've often heard the expression that "teenagers are angry." Of course, those who say it, are fully grown adults, and don't comprehend why we're angry, but are perfectly capable of understanding their own anger when they were in our shoes. And it can be clearly seen through any time period and any aspect of society. It can be seen through music, television, almost anywhere. And this brings my brain to ask myself: Why am I angry?

Well, personally for myself, there are a ton of reasons. I'm angry because:
-I'm probably the only person in my grade without a phone.
-I'm probably also the only person in the situation I'm currently in.
-I'm tired of hearing arguing over who sleeps more. I swear, if this doesn't stop, you can both sleep forever.
-I'm tired of being here.
-We're going to spend possibly three days celebrating an eight, now nine year-old's birthday for the next three days, yet he did everything in his power to warrant not even an acknowledgement. For me, I got a day out at the mall, a dinner, cake, then a party that honestly nobody cared about me being there, cause it was a bs convention for my mother, and absolutely not about me at all.
-I'm tired of no one but Lexa caring.

I guess that concludes my rant for today. I don't know what else to say, other then him celebrating his birthday for three days does mean that Lexa gets to give her Christmas Card to Aunt Lisa and Uncle Don.

Currently Listening To: Metallica - Ride the Lightening

This is really...

Pissing me off. I swear to god, I'm getting tired waking up and having to sit in the dark because these fucking people think they're college kids. Yeah, these are responsible adults, REAL responsible, going to bed at fucking probably 7 AM. It's really starting to piss me off more and more.

0...12-12--3-3h5h3p2

Not really much to say today. I'm happy I got another World Series magazine, those are really cool. I'm going to try and complete as much of my damn list as I can. I finished my Presidential Outlines, and decided to give myself the remainder of today off from school work since I don't have anything due tomorrow besides that anyway. I'm excited for my field trip tomorrow. I'm going to make sure I get great pictures of things such as the Monuments, the Clubhouse, the Dugout, all that shit. Maybe I'll get lucky and someone from the team, even an executive maybe, will be there. I think I'll get a jump and update my rosters as best as I can. Always love playing as up to date as possible until I get MLB 10 next spring.

Hint: Maybe since you can't pick up on elaborating about your day, you could try telling my what exactly was random and irrelevant, what you did during your free period times, and try actually remembering what it is you do in Physics. I'm kind of starting to get offended by you not telling me anything anymore.

Currently Listening to: The Four Horsemen - Metallica

Am I Evil, Yes I am.

Goals for this Tuesday afternoon:
-Finish Presidential Outlines. The bare minimum I'll allow myself to get away with will be doing just Davis and Johnson. Honestly, there is no reason I shouldn't finish these today.
-Be at about 50% done with my Christmas list. God I wish I knew what I actually wanted :/.
-We're going to do just track today, because I want to run. Goal: between 2 and 3 miles.
-Make sure there will be a set time to pick up my stuff. I really want my camera and keys.
-Read story for English. I dislike the AP textbook.

That's quite doable. Well, no more delaying. Lets get started!

Currently Listening to: Am I Evil? - Metallica

(P.S. Currently, if I were to be a Major League Baseball Pitcher, my intro music would be Through the Never)

All it is

Running is a great sensation. Its great for all aspects of the body, as well as the mind. Running has been one of my greatest ideas lately. I'm getting in shape as well as guarenteeing I have another person to converse with on a daily basis.

Thoughts:
-Gonna work on this X-Mas list over the next couple of days.
-I feel kind of retarded I rated my overall happiness as a 5/10.
-Finally got those library books back.
-They better get that camera from Lexa, or I will be pissed off.
-Going to go do that lab at 6:30ish, so I can hand it in tomorrow. While on the topic of Chem, going to study so I can ace that quiz tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'll do well, I'm really good at the reactions.
-"Dude, what you need is a job." -Vin. Trust me, I know.

All in all, I feel okay on this Monday evening.

Currently Listening to: Through the Never - Metallica

And...

Sometimes I wonder if it really is me. I don't know what it is I do wrong sometimes. All I'm doing is looking out for her and all I'm getting is attitude in return. And of course, my "looking out for her" is always interpreted as "me being an asshole and not wanting her to go out and ruining her life blahblahblah..."

I've already done my AP Chem homework on this really cold Sunday morning. Fuck, its cold. Hopefully Vin will still want to do track or handball today despite the balls cold weather. Hopefully he will so he can motivate me to want to, cause right now, I just want to stay inside and talk to....Oh, right, you won't be around. Well, now to find something else to do on this dull, boring afternoon.

Edit: 11:05 AM
Looking through my old blog posts, I listed my rankings of likings of my classes. Well, now in December, I think its time for a little re-rankings:
8. Spanish (Stayed)
7. Sports Marketing (Stayed)
6. AP English (Dropped 4)
5. Pre-Calc (Dropped 1)
4. AP US (Up 1)
3. Psych (Down 2)
2. Gym (up 4)
1. AP Chem (Up 2)

Interesting how opinions on things change over the course of a few months.

Currently Listening To: Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Quack

Things to try and do tomorrow since I'll be Lexaless :/
-(This is more I have to do) AP Chem HW
-Play with....we'll still call it a guitar for now
-Weather Pending, play handball
-If all else fails, I guess just chat with people
-Maybe watch Nightmare on Elm Street(But I kind of want to save that for us to do together :/)

Although today started and ended on a...well, blah note, all in all it was a pretty good day. I got a few ideas of what to get people, and I'm narrowing down what to get Beautiful AKA Lexa. I'm considering selling that Gamecube sitting under my game area so I have more money. I want to be able to get more people gifts then just Lexa. I'll probably ask Grandma if she can help me so I can at least make people happy and feel like I'm actually taking responsibility, and not just feeling like I'm a letdown and gonna keep acting like a child forever.

Short, Sweet, to the Point

Today is going to go well. We're gonna have a good day and things are going to be fine.

Agenda:
-Get brother B-day Present.
-Search for things to possibly get people.
-Look at things I might like to replace the more expensive things.
-Eat lunch, thats it for the mall. No excess eating.

Reasons Why...

...Tomorrow will be great:
-Out of this damn place that is really beginning to take it's last tolls on me.
-Going to be at the mall looking in places for things to put on my mind to try and get people.
-(Hopefully) Will be with my bestfriend along with my beautiful girlfriend.
-Even though I joke to her about her gay town, the tree lighting is a good cause, so that will be fun(hopefully the weather doesn't fuck it up too much)
-Did I mention not being in this motel room?

In other news, I still can't find a good song to learn that will compensate for this, well, the best term that comes to mind is retarded, guitar. I need to show that I am sticking to this. I know for a fact they probably think I'm just fucking around with it. I seriously want to keep playing and keep playing and getting better. This guitar limits me too much though. Its too crappy to do anything on. I also for some reason have the sudden urge to grow out my hair. Take that beautiful :p!

So...

Since death has been on my mind since last night, anything from wanting to be a part of it to just death in general...lets not talk about that.

Instead, lets keep these goals in mind:

-Learn something on guitar, anything. I need to start putting more effort into this rather than just the current fucking around I do now. I'm gonna find a song and stick with it and learn the shit out of it.
-2nd Quarter: Cracking a 100 motherfuckers!
-Keep this daily exercise up, it'll benefit you.
-I have to start keeping up with my diet as well. To be honest, I've still been eating whatever I want. That has to stop. I think I'm just going to go with this:

• No execessively large meals anymore than once a week
• No eating after 8:00 on weekdays, 10:00 weekends/offdays
• Try to eat healthy things over unhealthy things. Basically, pick up an apple instead of a bowl of ice cream
• No seconds unless the first wouldn't fill anyone

-Keep writing everyday. Something is still something, as long as it was written

Edit: 3:40 PM. She truly is amazing. I'm more glad than words can fathom to explain that she is mine forever. "good smile baby, smile forever and ever until...just keep smiling baby" I should live and die by those words, I really should..

Gonna Happen

As soon as this (hopefully)aircard is in our possession, I'm going to make sure I write here more often. I enjoy expressing myself.

By the way, with what someone just told me...makes me wish I had friends besides a 24 year old that asks me to hang out with them. Whatever, fuck everybody. Fuck you too, with all your friends that actually want to see you out of school.[/angry rant with not actually meant fucks]

Quite All Over the Place

-After sitting through Psychology today, I now have accepted that I have Dependency issues to work on. I'm going to conquer them I guess.
-I enjoyed To Write Love On Her Arms Day. Although me personally, I've never been suicidal or resorted to negative coping mechanisms, I do believe everyone deserves to be given that becon of light. I'm only sad I only got two people(Steve and Kelly cause they didn't realize it was today) to participate.
-I'm probably one of the only people you'll ever hear to complain about a 99 overall average(until my report comes that is). I just feel like I have to work harder, I want to achieve the 100+ milestone.
-I kind of miss someone. I saw them as I was leaving school. I spent the whole busride home thinking, and really, I don't understand why things got that way. Like honestly, they didn't do anything to me or anyone around me to be perfectly honest. It was their life, why should I not be friends with them because of the fact that they can't distinguish good from wrong? This doesn't mean I want to become friends with them again, but if the next time around they IM me, I'm inclined to say hi.
-Bet you the ceremony won't happen tomorrow, and we won't be notified until we're all about to walk out the door.

Currently Listening to: Black Sabbath - War Pigs.

And They're Off..

Here is my attempt at making sense of all this shit speeding through my mind at this moment

-I guess all the work I've had with the conclusion of the first quarter has me a tad stressed. I know my grades will be fine, it was just really stressful, and I know the second quarter only gets worse. Oh well, gotta do watcha gotta do I suppose.
-Monday or Tuesday(I honestly forgot and really don't want to remember what day it is), I begin 40 days or so(I also don't remember the sentence) without a male figure in my life. Oh joy.
-I need a job. I have no money and it really sucks. I want to get everyone gifts this Christmas. I'm going hunting today for one. Hopefully all goes well, or at least something.
-With what happened last week, the fear of not wanting to fuck up and lose everything.
-The progress I'm making with the guitar. Its been going great. I can't wait until I have an electric. That's when the true fun begins.
-All this shit with getting the hell out of this place. I so badly want to just pack up and get the fuck out of here, for real. The sooner we leave, the better.
-The Yankees winning. Other than probably November 26th of this year(Hopefully :/) and winning my Baseball Championship, watching that probably made my year. I called it from the beginning of the year and stuck through and endured the long season almost as much as they did. Great job boys, looking forward to seeing you all try and defend that title next year(PS: Please re-sign Damon and Matsui).
-Paranormal Activity. That was a great movie. Definitely the best I've seen this year. I of course, went against the norm of other people and did not find it scary whatsoever.
-Approximately 9 PM to 11 PM last night. It all felt passionate and nice. I really do love her. We're gonna be just all right, I know it. Its all too perfect to not stay that way.
-Getting in shape and doing Baseball things. Its getting harder and harder to do anything Baseball related when you have nobody to do anything with. The sport I love is becoming less and less popular, especially as the fall drags itself into the devil that is winter. Workouts are coming up, but part me doesn't even want to do those. I'm really kind of growing resentful of school sports after hearing about Joe's season. One play all year. It really sucks when you have the heart and determination to do something, but because you're not sucking your coaches dick or whatever you're not good enough to play.

I think that should be a good start.

Currently Listening To: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California.

Thoughts On Poetic Language

Sitting here, listening to music, made me think. How do these groups, bands, rappers, make the choices to put certain words and phrases into their song lyrics? In Mr. Whiffen format: What causes them to make the rhetorical choices they do when it comes to their choice in words? Why does Metallica begin The Unforgiven III with how could he know, this new dark's light, would change his life forever? All these questions, all these wonders, float in my head at times. It is almost philosophical at times. It's these types of thoughts that means my brain is in a good place. I never tend to think about these types of things. I usually would just accept those lyrics as just the way the song begins. But questioning things, that's what seperates the one from the many. And even though I used to tell myself I wanted to be a part of the many, I truly know that I belong apart of the one. I just think its time to start showing that a little bit more often.

Currently Listening to: Metallica - The Unforgiven III(Not completely ironic, as my thought for this entry did stem from Fade to Black.)

All I Have to Say Is...

Blah and I love Fade to Black...And weeks do go slower when you're not in a good mood.

Currently Listening to: Metallica - To Live Is to Die
Mood: Don't fucking ask. I don't have one anymore. I got rid of it because its defective.

Good-bye....Motherfucker

I realized something today while I felt unusually sluggish. It wasn't because I had just ran the mile. It wasn't "oh my god I can't breath" type of tired. It was more "I don't feel like existing" type of tired. I feel depressed. Oh well, now to answer questions about it from Lexa, who by the time she reads this I'll have probably pissed off somehow..

Currently Listening To: Metallica - Fade to Black(Always so appropriate.)

DONE!

The last two days were simply amazing. Spent two days at Jimmy's. Not only was it really goddamn fun, but it was also very reassuring. I'm not gonna lie, I had times where I thought he just said he was my bestfriend and I was the only one who really felt that, but now I know its true. Being a teenager rocks. It took three years into it to finally experience it, but who cares; I'm livin' it up now! Although the football game was boring, overall this was really fun. Lol at that dead bitch, I hope me and Lexa just run into her one day. A good knock to the mouth would be cool.
Also; I officially love Jimmy's parents. They're just so welcoming, and really do show where Jimmy gets his acceptance of everything from(quite paradoxical, but we'll discuss the paradoxical effect of Jimmy's acceptance and niggers another day :p). It was great to sit around the fire with everyone.

Things I Plan on Getting Done
-Spend time with my brother.
-Do sit-ups. Ate a lot the past few days, don't want it to sit there and build up again.
-Watch the Yankees clinch(that would mean they have to win, but facing The Idle, I got a good feeling its a good possibility that's going to happen.).
-Start PSAT test booklet either today or tomorrow.
-Look to see where I can get a good price on hoodies and/or a jacket.
-In the same sense, look to see how much either a black wifebeater is; or a black tanktop; along with some tight black pants. Going for this Halloween.
-With these boxes here, look and find shit that I don't need. (AKA Operation Reduce the Clusterfuck.)
-Keep reading Ballpark Blues. Book is amazing so far.
-Remind Lexa to tune my guitar tomorrow so I can play it again. Also maybe look to get a tuner.
-To remember if anything else needs to be put on this list.

Currently Listening to: Rise Against - Swing Life Away

Great Day

It was a good Saturday. I'm glad I made my mom happy on her birthday. She like my presents :).

Things to do tomorrow:
-AP US Outline
-Learn more of Nothing Else Matters
-(Before that) Learn more chords
-Maybe download some more music?
-Try and get the after school situation for Friday set in stone?
-Like my beautiful girlfriend, try to keep up with sit-ups for the umpteenth time.

Trust I seek, and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view. And Nothing Else Matters.

Deep Down Inside I Feel The Scream

I feel content. I'm enjoying this Thursday in which I didn't really have a lot to do. I like those days. I kind of enjoyed my chat with Mrs. Kelly. If there is something I've had trouble with over the years, its talking to former teachers. This year I'm not doing that bad of a job with it. I've already had conversations with Mr. Greenwald, Mrs. Katsionis(That also happened today), Mr. Forti, and Mrs. Kelly. I have to continue this ability to speak to people. It does really get you further in life.

And furthermore...
Fuck this bullshit:
-"I feel like we're gonna have a huge argument"
You only feel something like that if you want it. And that's all I'm gonna say about that load of bullshit.

Closing note: I want a guitar already!

Currently Listening to: Metallica - One

September

Current Rankings of Classes:

8. Spanish: I really don't like Mrs. Lederer. She just seems like a really anal retentive person. I will give her this though; unlike Ms. Grande, she does teach Spanish Honors in the Honors class.
7. Sports Marketing: Too many jocks. I like Lombo and the easy 100 makes it okay though.
6. Gym: Not a big fan of 2nd period Gym, but have to make due. I have a lot of friends in it though.
5. AP US: Unfortunately it literally is being conducted as a college class, but I'm not sure yet if that's going to be beneficial or not yet. I do like Mr. Henderson though. He is cool as Greenwald said he would be.
4. Pre-Calc: So far the class is really easy. My teacher(whos name I won't try and spell so I don't get it wrong) is really good, both teacherwise and personality.
3. AP Chem: It's only going to get harder, but hopefully Monday I can add to the 100 I have on the test. I like Castellano and sitting near Jwa and Mark.
2. AP English: Although this really looks like the most challenging of my AP classes(at least it feels like it is), I really like it. Whiffen is really great, and I think I'm going to get a great amount out of it.
1. Psychology: Bingo. So glad I got this 1st half. Although Mrs. Emler is a little out there at times, she seems like a great teacher for Psych and I think I will also get a lot out of this class. Who knows, I may have finally narrowed down what I want to do to just two professions.

I really like the way the hair on the back of my neck stands up when I hear James Hetfield begins to sing "So close, no matter how far." Love, its great isn't it?

Feels wierd to say, but I might actually be truly happy, and its not just because of Lexa now. I think I've finally truely embraced the emotion itself, and plan on doing it more often.

Currently Listening to: Metallica - Disposable Heroes

Better Late Then Ever

29 ABs
6 Hits
9 Runs
1 2B
0 3B
0 HR
7 RBI
6 SB
14 BBs
13 K
2 HBP
1 SF
.207/.478/.241
.720 OPS

Overall, a pretty good year. Those BB's are something I really take pride in, because in certain situations, as the old Baseball adage goes, "a walk is better than a hit." Lovin the OBP.

Goals for Next Year(Wherever I Play) :
-Hit at least .280
-Pending the number of AB's, cut down on K's
-Hit a Triple
-Make a maximum of 2 errors(Physical, not mental)
-Have 2 Outfield assists
-Steal 5+ bases
-Lay down a good bunt

Nice Bonus':
-Hit a Homerun
-Steal 3rd twice

I'll be back to check these off in the Spring or Summer.

Currently Listening To: Metallica - Hero of The Day

P.S: I really love Lexa a lot. She is amazing, and I hope she cherishes that special thing I do when it happens in...I believe the countdown to that is 4 days now :).

No Nothing Else Matters

Reasons Why the Past Four Days Have Been Perfect:

1. Although I am not happy that I was the only true happy part of her Birthday, I am glad I could give her a day to remember and bring a smile to that beautiful face. The letter accomplished it's goal. Part I may have been something, but she will ball her eyes out when part II comes around November 27th or 28th.
2. I gave her almost an equally happy day yesterday. I really do enjoy bringing enjoyment to her life. That cake, like the letter, was made from the heart.
3. Witnessing Baseball History. It really couldn't happen to a better guy. Pending any steroid allegations or controversy(which now-a-days any athlete is susceptible to), Derek Jeter is and should be a role model to others.
4. School has been going great. This is my year. Last year isn't going to compare to this one. So far everything has been going right, and I feel more confident than ever. Cheers to a really successful school year.
5. I can't wait to get my acoustic guitar. I really do plan on carrying this out and playing it. It's going to be so much fun.

Things I Have Done and Need to Get Done:

1. AP US - Done
2. Read the rest of Rise to Rebellion - will be done today
3. Read Article and anote it for English - try to start today
4. Do AP questions - try and do some today, if not, do it Monday
5. Find binder for Spanish to use for 100 - Done
6. Figure out when to talk to Mr. Ward - Done, doing it tomorrow

Currently Listening To: Metallica - Am I Evil?

Closer

This day is one a lot of kids dread, the day before school. I on the other hand, am embracing it with open arms. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed summer and being home and playing baseball and all of it. But there comes a time when you just get bored of being on vacation, and want to get back into the swing of school buses, lockers, binders, and teachers. I personally just can't wait. This year is going to be the best yet. I thought my sophomore year was good, bringing me Lexa and great grades, but I plan on making it even better. It'll be my first full year of embracing who I am and letting that person shine.

This morning I began "the surprise." This is going to be so fun. I really hope she likes it. I'm taking the definition of from the heart and elaborating and expanding it beyond what I've done for her the first 9+ months of this relationship. It's her 16th birthday, and you only have one of those once, so I'm gonna do the best I can to make it memorable for this beautiful and amazing girl that is in my life.

Also, that When Metallica Ruled The World special I watched this morning, wasn't half bad.

Currently Listening to: Blink 182 - I Miss You

Top 10 Metallica Songs and Reasons Why

10. The Unforgiven II(ReLoad) - I just think this song is beautiful. James' vocals are what set the whole calming mood of the song. Its quite interesting to listen to the evolution of a voice, by aging and developing sound equipment. From the screaming young teenager, to the mature adult, James Hetfield really demonstrates how great his voice truly is.
9. The Unforgiven(Black Album) - It begins the trilogy that has lasted 18 years. It begins the quest for forgiveness. It begins with being under control, and how many people seem to control you early in life. Obviously, I can relate greatly, as my life hasn't exactly been about freedom. Just a beautiful song, and probably one of a few songs I will listen to with a trumpet in it.
8. The Thing That Should Not Be(Master of Puppets) - Great song. Never would have guessed it was about the Lochness monster until I saw on a website. The intro is really cool and sets the tone for the story of this "thing that should not be." On a lesser note, regardless if it was on Easy, the first song I ever 100% on Guitar Hero.
7. Master of Puppets(Self explanatory what album, but Master of Puppets) - The definition of a good speed-metal song. Any Metallica fan has gotta love this song. Makes me never want to do drugs. Even a song like this paints a pictures and tells quite the good story. Lets see if we could ever learn even a part of this song.
6. Enter Sandman(Black Album) - What's left to say about this song. We've written so much about it, and have even given that description to a Yankee Advisor(Which I doubt got to Mo, but oh well.) Still to me the first Metallica song I ever liked.
5. Welcome Home(Sanitarium)(Master of Puppets) - Great song to hear when you want to be alone. Was supposed to be the "next Fade to Black" supposedly by other sites and just places I've seen. I can see why by the tone of the guitar and the mood it sets, but its no Fade to Black. It's its own song, that really gives good insight to what it feels like to be in an insane assylum.
4. Fade to Black(Ride the Lightening) - Just a gorgeous ballad. Has been rated up there with Suicide Solution as one of the most influential anti-suicide songs out there. Me personally, other than because I like it, tend to listen to it when I get down. It doesn't necesarily lift spirits all the time, but it does tell you a story of what not to do.
3. One(...And Justice for All) - Has so much meaning behind it. True people who understand music look at it as a gorgeous song and not "garbage" as my mom has described it. The feeling of anti-war, and the was the guitar sounds, its just perfect. The beginning with the sounds of war in the background before the guitar comes in really sets the mood. That Kirk solo ain't too bad either.
2. The Unforgiven III(Death Magnetic) - I admit, at first, when I heard the intro was piano and trumpet, I didn't look into it too much. But after finally giving it a chance, I really understood and related to it greatly. You really can't forgive anyone else until you can forgive yourself. Looks like all 3 of the trilogys make it on my top 10, and to me, the newest the greater of the 3. I still wish I could find a live version of it.
1. Nothing Else Matters(Black Album) - The only terms I can use to explain this song is "Alexandra Danielle Carnelli" and "So close...no matter how far." Just a great song and probably my favorite song ever.

They've Gone Away

By the numbers:

3 - The number of days of summer left.

1 - AP US Assignment left for me to finish.

4 - Days left until the best girlfriend ever's Birthday.

$125 - The price of the aucustic guitar at Guitar Center. I'm really excited to go through with learning guitar. Although I know we won't buy one until Christmas time, I just needed some number to mention my excitement.

13 - Wins left for the Yankees to reach 100. What a great season. I'm sooooo stoked to watch the playoffs this year. Big things are gonna happen, I can feel it. I'm somehow buying a 2009 World Series Champions shirt if they win it. I bet a lot of people wish they were Mark Teixeira now.

310 - Songs on the Mp3. I need to delete and add stuff though, but I think I'll wait a while to do that. I'm perfectly content with it the way it is now.

27 - Days until Mom's birthday. Where I'm gonna find money for that is beyond me.

6:28 - The length of Nothing Else Matters on my Mp3. So close....no matter how far.

11.26 - A day I'm always going to look forward to.

*A number so large it has no value* - How much deeper I keep falling in love with you.

Currently Listening To: Metallica - Nothing Else Matters

Dog Days Are No More

As the dog days of August appear to have faded away, I find myself feeling really good. I still feel aftershocks of whatever wisdom passed through me yesterday and had me feeling really intelligent. Chapter 3 of Lies wasn't up to par with the first 2. All the information for the most part was things that although I didn't know, could see happening. The only really cool thing I did learn was that Squanto had been a slave and been to Europe before meeting the Pilgrims.

Tomorrow I get to formulate my analysis of the first 3 hapters of Lies. I'm actually looking forward to it, as the book really is opening my eyes. It's showing me that don't always believe what you're told. Sometimes things aren't as they should be. Thinking about it, I already love my US teacher. He wants us to formulate our own opinion on things and have a better understanding of everything that we are being told.

I'm really excited for this surprise I got planned for Lexa. She's gonna love it. It's all going to be from the heart, something I haven't done enough in this relationship. When you're gonna be with someone forever, you should always be like that.

Currently Listening to - Dragonforce - Through the Fire of Flames

Here We Go

Okay, so the blog about my Baseball season didn't exactly go over too well. This one is different though. This one is going to be the one that I actually do keep and do go to. It's going to be a part of my responsibilities this school year, which is only now 9 days away. I'm excited for it. Last year was a great year, but this one is going to take the cake. Junior year is probably the most challenging one in high school, so I'm going to make it the best out of all the years. I'll show myself.

Word of Advice: Don't see it as good-bye. You only say good-bye to someone you aren't going to see again.

Currently Listening to: Guns 'N Roses - Paradise City.